Good lazy

Sep 30

It’s Friday afternoon, and I’ve spent most of the past forty-eight hours in the horizontal position.  I try to leverage the forced quietude for all that it can be, but it looks an awful lot like being lazy.  (And I’m not saying that that is a bad thing–I need to be lazy.)  There is such a thing as good laziness, right?  I have contentment that all of my aches and pains can be attributed to my cancer treatment, not my actual cancer.  It is a blessing I do not take for granted.

I am still navigating how to be the best version of Jen whilst on this treatment.  It’s tricky to not know how I’m going to feel as I anticipate the next hour, day, week.  I give myself a lot of grace and a lot of buffer to ensure that when I show up, I’m really present.  It’s easy to prioritize the mornings with the girls, but it feels like little else is as consistent.

Physically, I had a better-than-(new)-normal start to the week, and I can’t help thinking that it was due to all the people that were praying for me (and my phone losses) as I over-shared about what was going on in my world via my writing early in the week.  Instead of having four physically tough days this week, I only had two; I felt that the gift of time was very timely and well-spent.  Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes; I feel the difference, which is amazing and sets off a whole bunch of feelings.

On this quiet, rainy day–even the rain is lazy–, I just wanted to say thank you for taking a moment from your week to think of me with hope, joy and healing.  Often I feel small in my day-to-day existence these days; seeing, hearing, and feeling the love has helped broaden my view and enhance my perspective.  I learn so much by watching how the people around me love me.  One day I will pay it back–and won’t that be a fun day!?!

 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  –Matthew 11:28-30

17 comments

  1. Marlayne /

    Hugs :-) Prayers & Smiles :-)

  2. Marsha Vonderwish /

    You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers dear lady.

  3. Jessica /

    Praying for you always! You are an inspiration and one tough girl! Hang in there!

  4. 50 years!

  5. Love you so much dear friend. You’ve paid it back 100 times over already… Thank you for sharing your life with me! ❤️

  6. Kim Rourke /

    Even in your so called laziness you are thinking of others so… lazy away and enjoy your horizontal perspective. Praying for hope, joy, and healing for you!

  7. As one who gives so much of herself, even when it is a challenge, you more than deserve it. You have to power down mentally and physically so you can power up again. Hugs, prayers and good thoughts coming your way

  8. I think of you often and hold you in my heart with prayer. I will be attending a pink ribbon connection fundraiser tomorrow in Indianapolis. I’m so happy to attend with my childhood friend, Amy, who is a breast cancer survivor that I spoke to you about when she was first diagnosed a few years ago. I will be lifting you up from there 💗

  9. Cindy Mitchell /

    Hugs to you Jen…Feel better.. and it is okay to be lazy.. Treatment sure does take it out of you.. I admire your strength with all you do.. You are a SUPER DUPER MOM..Take care Jen

  10. Lisa Smith /

    What is rain? Enjoy it for me 😘

  11. Mommaj /

    We’re with you Jen, your strength comes from the Lord and the graceful prayers of loving friends and family!! Have a relaxing and peaceful weekend with your family!!

  12. Dotti /

    With God everything is possible:)

  13. I’m praying for you Jen.
    Kay

  14. Sheila /

    I don’t remember how it was that I happend upon your blog. I don’t remember what inspired me to subscribe so that your words come to my inbox as soon as you publish them. I DO know that you’ve been a source of inspiration to me for a long while now. I am pretty sure I was meant to be here to send my prayers up when you need them. I’ve brought my daughter out onto the front lawn for cartwheels at dusk when you suggested it and I’ve purchased my very own happy thought bubble that I gifted to my mother that year for Mother’s Day. You and your writing and by extension, your family, are an important part of who I am as a wife, mom, and daughter today. You are never small. My prayers are always with you!

  15. annie /

    It’s wonderful how people of faith are not held captive by time and distance; God can stretch our prayers to cover the miles between us. I’m so happy that you feel the love and hope of your community.

    Have a good week, Jen.

  16. Lindsay /

    Praying for you today, girlfriend!

  17. Linda (aka. T) /

    Although I don’t leave comments often, you (…and your beautiful family) are always in my thoughts and prayers. Your strength and positive mindset are inspiring. xo