I’ve got this

Mar 28

I looked in the mirror today and realized I had — once again — rubbed off half my eyebrow.  Today it was my right eyebrow; yesterday I’d done the same thing to the outside half of my left eyebrow.  Apparently I subconsciously rub (itch?) my eyebrow and rub off my eyebrow make-up at some point though the day, which leaves me with a semi-awkward expression on my face for what I can only assume is a significant portion of my day.  Oh well.  Since I’m a redhead, my facial hair color is best described as “clear”.  I’ve been painting in my eyebrows since my first trip to the real makeup counter with my mom in the ’90s.  Now that I’m also bald, my painted-in-eyebrows are the number one thing that keep me from looking like Dr. Evil.  I hesitate to type that because I think everyone who knows me and who has seen me bald is now chuckling to themselves and thinking “Yup.  Totally Dr. Evil.”  (From the movie Austin Powers, if you don’t get the reference.  Not that kind of evil.) I actually have short, sparse “clear” hair on my head.  Brad and I buzzed it down three weeks ago because I felt like it was looking like mangey and/or like baby eagle hair.  Neither of those are good descriptors, so you can see why I opted to buzz it.  If I grew it out, I think I would look sick-er than I do bald.  It’s really, really wimpy “hair”. Today Brad brought Maren and Greta in to visit me in the Chemo Room since it is their spring break.  Maren and Greta both love coming there; I love that the nurses have made it an environment that welcomes small children as it is not in any way designed to accommodate small children.  It is the people who welcome them.  I love my nurses.  It really means a lot to me that my family feels safe and happy in that environment.  Hallowed ground is what I call that space and I mean it.  Hallowed ground in the Chemo Room.  I saw my fist-bumping friend and we skip past a thousand conversations to a depth of “you’ve got this” that defies...

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Snatches from my brain

Mar 15

Snatches from my brain

Yesterday was Chemo Day, so during my hours at the oncology office I also got my weekly steroid infusion — along with several other drugs — to help my body absorb the chemo.  Thus, this morning, I am awake at five in the morning. This is early for me, at least in this season of life.  As much as I am wincing about what my body is going to feel like come lunchtime, I am grateful for this quiet moment.  My brain has been mulling over various things-to-share but I have a feeling this blog will be snatches of randomness. In 2010 we moved back to Cincinnati after a brief stint out-of-state with Brad’s job.  Upon reflection of that time, I had one friend in particular who was drowning in her obligations.  She had multiple children at ankle-biter ages, a busy husband, a rigid job, a tight budget, a myriad of other very (very) normal stresses, and simply not enough hours in the day.  She was the first to say she loved her life — and I know she did.  The way that it all hit her however, was that she wasn’t feeling she was able to be herself, and that was the true hardship.  That was six years ago, and that family, my friend included, is now thriving.  However, as I think back to that time I think to myself: golly, I failed her.  In hindsight, and with the perspective of what I’m currently experiencing, I know that I *could* have, at any time, let myself into her house (we have an open door friendship after all–I am inner circle for her) and done a Ninja Mom Blitz: wipe the counters, check the dryer for things to be folded, sweep the crumbs off the floor, unload (and reload) the dishwasher, do the dishes, make the beds, tidy the kid clutter, straighten the couch pillows, collect the items from this room and return them to that room.  I think about the breath of fresh air and the reprieve it would have been for her, and I’m sad I didn’t think to do it then.  (Sorry friend!) One friend who came in to help me this month said to me after the...

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Allowing their art and music to rise to my view

Mar 01

Allowing their art and music to rise to my view

Phew folks.  After eight rounds on this chemo, I am feeling weary.  I am continuing to open the door to my home (and our mess) and let people in to help with the tasks of day-to-day.  This week I’m writing a list of house projects that we are never going to get around to that will be up for grabs.  When Brad’s home, we want him with us rather than project-ing away.  We are afloat, but we have next-to-no momentum for things outside of must-be-done-now/today. A few weeks ago a friend came in and I set her loose on reorganizing the girls’ bathroom.  Talk about a thankless task–it was a BIG job!  She found a significant number of empty toothbrush tubes (like, I think more than 10), more than a dozen toothbrushes, and spent a lot of time sorting hair clips, headbands, rubber bands, doodads, and accessories.  Plus travel bags, hair stuff, medicines, lotions. Girls and our potions, right?  In a delightful twist, the girls have actually had success and motivation(!) to keep that space (mostly) organized thanks to her system.  That room has a whole new mojo in it!  As an aside… what is with kids and toothpaste?  I don’t even understand how they get it on surfaces where I find it? This week a friend came in and organized all of the hand-me down clothes (between Maren and Greta) so that they are ready-t0 go and no longer haphazardly stored (aka forgotten) in various bedroom closets and storage areas.  She also cleaned my floors even though floors are her nemesis.  And my heart doth sing today as I step crumb-free along my shiny floor. I’ve eaten more home-cooked meals (by other people) this month than in a long, long time.  And when even re-heating and dishes loom too great in my view, it is nice to let the girls pick a gift card and consider dinner done that way too.  Both are equally valuable in relieving the burden! Another friend — a friend I don’t even know well — came in and deep cleaned in a way that the rooms she did hadn’t felt so clean — ever, I think.  I don’t know what it is about walking in to a clean...

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