Before my 1pm x-ray, Nurse Rozzer (who had shown up to try to bring me home at 9:30am) and I had a long conversation with the charge nurse. Charge is awesome; a great nurse and advocate. We broke the scenario down into Best Case Scenario, Worst Case Scenario, Best Worst Case Scenario, Worst Worst Case Scenario, Everything Sucks Scenario. As you can see, once we left “Best Case Scenario” there was no way to avoid more hospital procedures, more hospital time, and Christmas Happiness getting moved to Hospital Christmas Happiness. Just so you know, the word hospital mixed with Christmas Happiness doesn’t fool anyone. There are some families who make hospital happiness happen when the rubber hits the road, but — dang it — I was not ready for my family to do Hospital Happiness this year.
Charge Nurse gave me a slightly-higher-than-10-%-chance of Best Case Scenario–the get out of jail free card where, after my “no change” x-ray, I get to head straight home. I was not pleased with those odds and, truthfully, I began to mourn my what-would-have-been.
I got back from my 1pm chest x-ray and went to the bathroom for a sponge bath. Because you know, sponge baths are so revitalizing.
I finished in the bathroom, and found that housekeeping had re-made my bed. I sat my (relatively) clean self down in my clean room, and I began to mentally prepare how I was going to make joy today. Chest tube, shmest tube. Spending the day with my girls is always a good thing. So what if we had to play games in the hospital instead of at home? I can still see people who love me; I am blessed that I need not ever question whether my loved ones will come to me. This will be one rocking hospital room if need be. I sat contemplatively in my chair, arranging my brain, arranging my emotions, stilling my heart.
Then three nurses entered my room, each of whom I’ve had care for me on different days over the past week. The last one to enter, today’s nurse, waved her hand and said, “It’s good! You get to go home!”
I said, “Are you serious?” as I looked at each of their happy faces.
They all nodded.
And I burst into the ugly cry. Joyful ugly, I tell you.
And they came over to give me hugs, and they were all crying too.
No hospital Christmas for me this year. More importantly, no hospital Christmas for my family this year. I got my Christmas miracle! And the Bengals won last night? What is happening in this town? Somebody better put some lottery tickets in my stocking!
I really don’t have words for this one. When I call upon my God, and ask you pray-ers to do your thing, I am always bamboozled. Thank you and Amen.
And all the people said Amen.