Normal sick

May 19

My people at the oncology office were awesome as usual this morning.  They talked amongst themselves and decided that it would be prudent to get a chest x-ray.  I love that about my office: cancer doctors are not the “watch and wait” type.  Those folks get stuff done. So I had a chest x-ray this morning and got the results late-morning.  (I love “stat” orders.  Although I wish I were medically boring enough to not always have “stat” attached to my orders.  But I digress… ) My chest x-ray was perfectly normal: no pneumonia and, more importantly, no suspicious spots of any kind. Can I get a WOOOO HOOOOOOOOO?!?! The verdict from my medical staff is that I am indeed Normal Sick.  I never thought I’d be doing a happy dance that this is Day 13 of a Normal Sickness. It’s a breezy, sunny day in the seventies–near perfect weather.  Greta and I had a picnic lunch.  we are sitting on the back patio with the hose and buckets and water table.  We’re washing the winter grime off our summer toys and playing together.  As I wash, I’m picturing washing away the germs and infection and sickness so that I, too, am fresh and ready for summer. I’m making the most of a low-key day with my favorite three!-year-old, and I’m thankful for the ever-present perspective in my life that reminds me to always, always be grateful.  I’m praising the Lord and counting my blessings today.  Normal sick.  Yes, a blessing...

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Praying for normal sick…

May 18

So I’m still sick. It’s day 12 of cold symptoms with random sore throat, voice comes and goes, funky cough, and I’m generally achy with low energy.  You know, pitiful.  I can do my Mom Jobs, but I feel Blah.  Chief Sister, Phenom, Brad, and Rozzinator have all stepped up to assist with the kiddos.  I’ve had to swap healing and resting for some fun activities.  I saw my primary care doc twice last week, and completed a z pack of antibiotics today.  And yet: still sick. Tomorrow I’m going to go see Dr. Wonderful (it’s shot day, so I have to go in anyway), and I’m going to tell him I’m still sick.  I don’t really know what he’ll say.  I’m hoping he’ll say, “Jen, you have a bad cold/virus/infection–here is some stronger medicine to make it better.” I will say, “Thank you Dr. Wonderful!”  I am excited to resume real life again: I have a swim team suit to buy for one kid and swimming lessons to sign another kid up for and a bunch of planning to do.  Because: summer!  Summer is awesome!   I’m so excited to have both my kids home all day. Anytime there is a hint of something-not-quite-right, I have to pray extra “Lord, please keep the cancer away” prayers because I start to worry.  And, as a rule, I resolve not to worry, so it is problematic when things are not-quite-right. Would you please that I am “Normal Sick” and not “Cancer Sick”.  I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain the chasm that separates those two...

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Seat warmers and grace

May 13

Phew!  It’s been a crazy week.  I came down with a cold last Wednesday, which morphed into laryngitis by Friday.  It took all my energy (and some assists from my awesome family and friends) to get everything together for Greta’s birthday party Friday night and the baby shower on Saturday.  Sunday I took a turn for the worse — I think it was the flu — and spent the whole day in bed.  (I’ve promised Maren a Mother’s Day Do-Over since I think she was even more disappointed than I was.)  Yesterday, I rallied to get up and going to my oncology appointment, but Greta’s teacher called as I was about to leave: Greta had a sore ear and needed to be picked up.  I cancelled my doctor’s appointment (life of a mom, right?), and I took her to the pediatrician instead.  We picked up her medicine and spent much of the day watching TV together.  I did the essentials, but I was Wimpy Mom, for sure.  When Brad got home at 6:30, I thought: Thank God for my amazing husband to the rescue.  Even though he’s been working hard since five in the morning, I know he’ll take over and I can go. back. to. bed. It feels weird to get “regular sick”.  I’m used to “chemo sick” — wherein I plan child care and activities around my expected time in bed.  Regular sick is inconvenient–I’ve got stuff to do! Today I’m at my rescheduled oncology appointment, and feeling like I am mostly over the worst of the flu (yay) but still with a hefty lingering cold (boo).  Nurse Practitioner Rockstar told me I’m down nine pounds in a week which means yes, I’ve been very sick.  I’m at a difference office today since I follow Dr. Wonderful around the city as he works.  I don’t mind the new office though because these Chemo Room chairs have seat warmers.  Trust me–it is fabulous. I’ve not really tackled any of the items on my To Do list that I wrote last week when I talked about my Mothering Attack.  It’s logical that I haven’t made any progress: there’s the sicky stuff, and the party stuff, and the life-keeps-going stuff....

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A mothering attack

May 05

A mothering attack

Tonight I breathed them in.  We played outside and felt the wind in our hair.  (Yes, I have a tiny little bit of hair!)  We read and re-read all of the recent birthday mail they have received lately.  Greta traces her finger along and makes up the words with a surprising amount of accuracy.  Maren bounces as she reads aloud and lisps through her missing teeth.  We dressed up dolls in Hawaiian outfits and made them hula.  We all hula-ed.  We sat down and watched a television show–all twenty-three minutes, me with an arm around each girl.  (I never do this.  TV time equals productive time for me.)  I only diverted my attention from the show for kisses and tickles.  We giggled.  I made dinner and we sat and talked about the day.  Maren’s highlight was when Greta and I came to eat lunch with her.  Greta’s highlight was when we shopped for her ice cream social birthday party.  My highlight was all the moments (and tonight, there were many) that we laughed together.  Our collective low was when SuperGramma left to go back to her house.  After dinner they wanted to paint.  I said yes: Maren did a watercolor of she and I in New York City, and Greta did an abstract sparkle paint blob with polka dots.  After painting they danced.  They talked me out of baths.  And then they danced in their pajamas.  I prayed with Maren and admired the glow-in-the-dark stars we hung today under her bunk bed.  I read Miss Mary Mack and Brown Bear, Brown Bear with Greta.  I caved to her request and laid down with her while she fell asleep.  I tiptoed in their bedrooms and prayed over them while they slept.  Tonight I was yes mama, happy mama, centered mama, grateful mama, and I. Love. Them. So. I have twenty-six items I did not do on my list.  My suitcases are still (still!) on the family room floor.  My mail and the pile of last weeks school papers is un-sorted.  I still can’t find my four single shoes.  Don’t even make me think about my email inbox.  My thank-you’s are unwritten and the list is looong.  (I hate being behind...

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Happy May

May 05

Happy May

Brad and I kicked of May in Hawaii, and oh-my-word it was an amazing trip.  We’re calling it our ten-year-anniversary trip (technically 10 1/3), and we can’t wait to take the girls when they are old enough to handle the hiking.  It was fabulous to spend so much focused time with each other and to be dazzled — truly dazzled — by all that Kauai has to offer.  Brad told me our destination four months ago, but he kept all of the details as a surprise and the trip really was the perfect blend of us.  Magical, truly.  I love my husband! SuperGramma and SuperGrandpa swooped in once again to stay with Maren and Greta to keep the school and home front schedule running.  SuperGramma’s last two extended stays have been for my hospitalizations/surgeries, so it was refreshing for me to be doing fun things instead of medical things whilst the girls were rocking with their grandparents.  Everyone reports that it was an awesome week all around for them at home too.  Win!  (And thank you SuperGs!) I have about a bajillion things racing through my mind that I want to blog about, so we’ll see how well I can crank those out–everything from memorable hikes I’ve taken to Greta learning to draw circles to progress on my word wall.  If you contacted me in the past few months and I haven’t gotten back to you–I’m so sorry; I plan to start working my way back through emails and comments to belatedly get in touch, but feel free to try again if I haven’t responded.  Today I took email off of my phone in an attempt to force myself to reply as I read.  Too often I read email on the fly and think to myself “I’ll reply soon”, and then I never go back and do it.  It’s a bad habit I’m trying to break. Maren’s birthday was the week before we left, and Greta’s is this week so I’ve been operating at  warp speed to do regular life plus birthday stuff plus pre/post trip organizing.  Luckily I’m refreshed after our week away, so I’ve recovered from the seven-years-old celebrations, and I’m geared up for the soon-to-be-three celebrations!...

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