Random

Apr 22

It’s a busy week for me.

Good busy.  But, still.  Busy.

Now that I think about it, when it is it not a busy week?  Hmmmm.

Anyway, I wrote down all the commenters for the HappyThoughtBubble.com giveaway (thank you!) and I’ll have the girls draw a name at breakfast tomorrow.  Other bloggers seem to use some sort of official method to ensure the randomness of the drawing, but I am not that official.  Let me assure you… I myself am pretty random, so I’ve got it covered.

Speaking of random, I pulled out my spring/summer shoes for the first time since October this week, and four of my favorite pairs have been reduced to singles.  That’s right folks, I’ve managed to lose four single shoes (two rights and two lefts, if you are wondering).  I’ve looked e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.  I’m losing it.  And, honestly?  I need to be wearing these shoes!  Where are they?

Greta’s teacher and I had a little conference to discuss Greta’s progress at school.  The biggest surprise?  The teacher describes her as a little helper, agreeable, willing to participate in any/every activity, and she never says no.  All of us who spend the most time with Greta are a wee bit surprised shocked.  I love my Greta, but — oy!  She makes me work.  I’m glad she gives her teachers an easier time.  I might stop in and take notes on what they are doing.

Tonight I gave Maren her last six-year-old hug.  I hung the birthday banner.  I wrapped her presents.  I bought donuts — her favorite — for breakfast tomorrow.  I love my big girl.

I have invitations pending to three upcoming breast cancer events.  I find myself delaying my response and when I stop to ask myself why, it’s because I don’t want to have breast cancer.  I don’t want to be in this club, or celebrate this disease, or think about cancer more than I already have to.  Don’t get me wrong, the organizations are fabulous and the money they raise literally impacts my lifespan, so I want them to exist and do well.  However there’s still this part of me that wants to focus on living with cancer rather than fighting cancer.  I’m in the trenches; my wearing a pink ribbon doesn’t seem as powerful as me just doing my regular life.  Does that make sense?  I guess you should know it is complicated to be an advanced breast cancer patient person.

Today Chief Sister mediated a small skirmish between Maren and Greta.  I gave her an approving nod and said, “Soon you too may have the skills of a high power hostage negotiator.”

Without missing a beat she replied, “You too could have chosen to have fish instead of children.”

Touche, Chief.  Touche.

When I woke up this morning, I prayed for big things and little things.  All the big things were answered.  All the little things will wait another day.  I’m still operating with an impossible peace and am praying earnestly that I would remain cancer free.  Having No Evidence of Disease and an easy-to-tolerate treatment makes these days so lovely.  I get to be normal.  I’m sprinkling cupcakes for my kid’s birthday.  I’m going to parent-teacher conferences for my other kid.  Normal is amazing.  Please God, let me rejoice in a normal life for the next 47+ years.

7 comments

  1. Newbyfriend /

    I totally get what you are saying about the cancer events. It is time to focus on living and thinking about things other than cancer. Enjoy these busy days!!!

  2. Deanna /

    I hear what you’re saying about the cancer events, but what came to my mind is that you going might not be for you. You have an amazing hope through Jesus, and perhaps there is someone or many someones who need to hear about your joy and peace and confidence in the Lord. Just a thought…

  3. Loved the comments from Greta’s teacher : ) she is a powerhouse of many skills – perhaps including negotiating with her parents. Your girls each emanate strength and beauty in such unique ways. They are sooo easy to love. Please give them an extra squeeze from us on this sunny, crisp perfect spring morning. What a great day to turn seven!!!

  4. Kathi Roth /

    Hey Jen. Speaking of NED. I have something for you. I’ve had it for weeks! Will you or brad be at church this weekend ? And I get it with the events. Enjoy this spring weather barefoot ! There is nothing like it !

  5. Alicia /

    HaPpY BiRtHdAy, Maren!!!!!!

  6. Genora /

    I pray that prayer with you, in the Mighty Name Of Jesus, to God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.

  7. Melody Smith /

    Maren shares her birthday with me … I smiled as I realized this while reading the post :) I hope she enjoyed her day as much as I did!