Blue Chemo Days

Mar 06

Blue Chemo Days

Here I am, nearly at the end of the Blue Chemo stretch.  Isn’t it funny how time simultaneously hurtles and tromps along?

The Chemo Rainbow is definitely taking it’s toll on me. I am looking forward to feeling normal again. Normal is underrated, people. When I see people, they often ask how I’m doing. I loathe answering “Fine” because it’s such a trite, automated answer. I also dislike answering “Tired” because it’s boring and whiney. It’s hard to know what to say in the interest of being authentic.

How am I doing? Physically, I’m wiped out, and expect to feel that way for the next month or more. Mentally/Spiritually/Emotionally, I’m doing well. Chemo is my cancer-killing friend. I believe God is doing good things in my life and the lives of those around me, and I’m feeling grateful as I navigate these Blue Chemo days.

Here’s what Blue Chemo has looked like for me:

Encouraging words from a friend on Chemo Eve…

IMG_2171

 

Me in the Chemo Room.  Reclining in my recliner, wearing my blue.  Not pictured are the other patients, visitors and nurses that fill the room with good energy.

IMG_2178

 

I found these bags and gave them out in the Chemo Room on Blue Monday.  Life is, indeed, pretty amazing.

IMG_2172

 

Since it was a public holiday, these two cuties popped in for a visit.  (And I think that nurse in the background is attempting a long-distance photo bomb.)

IMG_2173

 

The Blue Slide begins.  These are all of the medications that I carry around with me.  Some are for my heart, some for nausea, some for pain, some for infections.  I love the science that allows me to manage my symptoms.  These bottles help.

IMG_2181

 

During the slide, I rally for key moments.  Here I am, emerging from bed to make a dessert-from-a-box with the girls.  But, they got to lick the spoons, therefore I was SuperMom.  Win!  This was forty minutes well spent at a time I didn’t have much to give.

_MG_3401

 

Here’s NanaRoz (aka, The Rozzinator) and Greta the Great going out for a day of fun.  My mental health during these days is largely attributed to the fact that I am getting lots of help.  I rally for key moments, and do a lot (A LOT) of resting.

_MG_3482 _MG_3483

 

This is Maren being brave at the doctor’s office.  Life goes on.  We do normal things like doctor’s appointments for things other than cancer.

IMG_2190

Greta’s favorite game is dominos.  (This particular set was left on our doorstep in the fall as a gift.)  Greta has her own set of rules for dominos, and they don’t make sense.   Greta also won’t take suggestions when it comes to art.  See the black spot she’s painting?  She painted the same two-inch square so many times that there is a two-inch hole in the paper.  (She’s painting the mat.)  But notice the smile?  She’s happily painting the mat and won’t put paint anywhere else.  This girl is a le.a.d.e.r.

 

_MG_3457_MG_3437

It’s haircut day!  (Typical: Greta’s response when I say smile, and Maren’s first photo bomb.)  And I love their haircuts.  It was a really fun Mommy-daughter outing.

_MG_3495

And me, on Date Night.  Happy me.

_MG_3506

 

So that’s it for my tour of Blue Chemo days.  Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes.  I am so grateful for the love!   I’m looking forward to Purple Chemo on Monday–more cancer-killing!  As I’ve been praying this cycle, I’ve been visualizing the God’s finger tracing each of the veins in my body, annihilating cancer cells along the way.  Then Blue Chemo follows along, making my body inhospitable to cancer and choking the cancer out.  I’m so grateful for my faith in this journey: I believe He can heal me.

17 comments

  1. Lisa Smith /

    Thank you for taking the time to write and post pics. It is so good to see you and the girls and the Rozzinator. xoxoxoxoxxoxo from the beach

  2. Jane Powell /

    Dear Jen,
    you need to learn to write in a way that doesn’t make your auntie janie weep – its so hard to read through tears!
    Love you – wish it were enough to be any help on your journey.

  3. jen gev /

    Makayla also painted a black/brown blob that made a hole in the paper for a long time! She’s only now branching out into colors, lol. Praying for you during these days. Your family is so blessed.

  4. Bonnie J /

    Refreshment for my soul to see your smile!! Can only to begin to sense the fatigue behind your activities, memory making and time spent Loving your family. We all dearly LOVE you back. …. Big Time!! Purple is on the horizon and purple is a royal color!! Our God Reigns and will be surrounding YOU ♡♡♡

  5. Kim Rourke /

    The blessing of children to lift your days! Here we come, PURPLE!

  6. peggy /

    Loved the journey through Blue Chemo! It is no coincident that the “Life is Pretty Amazing” tote bag is blue…everything about this trek is being orchestrated by a POWERFUL force and the outcome will be fantastic! My yoga teacher is always telling me to throw our my specific requests to the UNIVERSE and somehow the UNIVERSE will get the job done. You’re doing a pretty amazing job of that! So when folks ask you how you’re doing, tell them you’re AMAZING because you are!!!♥p

  7. Marsha Vonderwish /

    Jen, You come from a long line of amazing women! And I’m sure your daughters will follow the same amazing path! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
    Keeping you in my prayers dear girl. God is always good! :-)

  8. Julie /

    It’s nice to see you and all the pics
    and read your thoughts even during the trying part of your journey….

    Smooch!

  9. Shannon /

    Thank you for sharing those wonderful pictures. Continued thoughts and prayers from us. You and the girls look absolutely beautiful!

  10. Jen,
    I’m praying in VA.

  11. What a rare and glorious treat to see pictures of you and your delightful daughters. Blue is working and Purple is coming up… Two of my fave colors. Bless you on this journey and thank you for sharing it; one of my sisters took this trip last year and you have helped me understand what she was going thru.

  12. I love all the pictures!

  13. Marlayne Skeens /

    Jen ~ What an Inspiration Journey ~ Your children are Darling & You looked Beautiful for your date night ~ Cheers to PURPLE :-)

    • Tonja Hemmerick /

      I will see you on purple Monday:).
      Tonja

  14. Tonja Hemmerick /

    I will see you. Monday proudly wearing my purple.
    Love ya;
    Tonja

  15. Tonja Hemmerick /

    I will see you on purple Monday:).
    Tonja

  16. Tonja Hemmerick /

    We will blame all the repeats on chemo. brain:).
    Tonja