Coming out from under
What’s been happening:
– Orange Chemo left me feeling weak and shakey. Every time I saw a couch or a bed or a chair, I felt the almost-irresistable urge to stop what I was doing and melt into it. I wanted to curl up and rest and relax. For the most part, I did a lot of just that: rest, relax, sleep. My support team is really amazing in allowing me the freedom to just be me.
– I haven’t done anything productive aside from absolute essentials since early last week. This time even email was too much to keep up with, and I couldn’t muster the energy to write. It’s going to take me a while to dig out from under the To Do list. First I have to write the To Do list. Oy.
– I had fun at all my key fun events that occurred during the slide. Brad and I shared long, lingering meals with fun conversation with friends. We prepared Christmas Magic for our kids, who — at 2 and 6 — are in their prime magic years. We went to the Nutcracker Ballet as a family and it was spectacular. During the slide, I can time my medications and energy to be prime for a 3-4 hour window as long as I rest before and after. It works–I’m grateful for those hours, and the hours of rest.
– I began to bounce out of Chemo Funk at 9pm Monday night–it was strange to all of a sudden have energy and feel like myself again. It was almost like a light switch turning on.
– Christmas Eve was a great day–I felt mostly normal. Although, I am feeling a basic level of de-conditioning; spending a week in a hospital bed (after my lung surgery in November) took away a lot of my conditioning. Two chemo treatments and another surgery haven’t exactly allowed me to build back strength. I’m going to try to make a point to do some walking for exercise over the next two weeks–quite different from my 2012 chemo, where I ran 2-4x/week throughout.
– I woke up Christmas Day with what was either a short but intense flu or the return of Chemo Funk. The family ended up suspending gift-opening halfway through because I had to take a break and a nap. (You know you are sick when you can’t open presents–lol.) After a crash and loading up on anti-nausea meds, I rallied for the rest of the day. Now–late Christmas night– I’m feeling better, albeit still weak. Fingers crossed that everyone else stays healthy.
Tonight I am *so* happy to be feeling more like myself.
I love my life. It’s so important to me to do my life well and honor the blessings I’ve been given.
I’m feeling grateful for the gifts — oh, the gifts — that have been showered upon us this holiday season.
I am soaking in the joyful exuberance of my daughters, and merriment in general.
I am wrapped in the love of my family in friends.
I point to Jesus as Lord and Healer this season, and every season.