PET Scan #4

Oct 18

I know the routine for PET scans now.

I got off the hospital elevator at the appropriate floor, and said hello to my favorite ladies in reception.  Today there was a man playing his saxophone near the elevators.  As I listen to his soulful music, I think about this man and what life experience he had that made him choose to play his instrument on the oncology floor of the hospital.    This gift of music in this weighty place makes me reflect on kindness in its many forms.  I sit down in the waiting room in my usual seat by the fish tank.  I watched the fish in the saltwater tank and I saw many species that I saw just two weeks ago in Australia.  I found “Nemo” and “Dori” and wonder if I’ll ever go to an aquarium again without looking for those two.  I think about my girls and know that I am privileged to be their mother.

Nuclear Radiology Nurse #2 came to get me today, and we had idle conversation about vacation spots while he gave me a blood sugar test, confirmed I’d fasted as directed, and then injected me with a radioactive isotope that marinated in my system.  I wore nothing with metal so I could skip the hassle and the anonymity of the hospital gown.  I anticipate his movements, and breeze through the procedural steps.

After an hour of marinating, I was directed to the CT/PET machine.  I lay on a horizontal board four feet off the ground with my feet pointed at two large donuts standing on end.  As I lay in the table, my arms are above my head, and I press my hands together in a posture of prayer.  I hold still while the first donut takes CT images of my physiology, and continue to hold still as I move in through the second donut which tracks how the isotope moves through my system.  As the table underneath me moves me through the machines, I pray for each body part as it is encircled.  I focus on the organs that breast cancer can spread to: lymph nodes, skin, brain, lungs, liver, and bones.

I finish the scan and make my exit.  The saxophonist is no longer at his station and I miss his presence.  I pass a whole lot of bald, obviously sick people, and I think: I am healthy.  I am strong.  I am brave.

Results come from Nurse Practitioner Rockstar; she is Dr. Wonderful’s right hand gal.  She tells me that there is a spot in my lung that we need to biopsy.  And, until that test is done, we know nothing else.  I choose not to ask her questions because I’ve been through this scenario a few times before.  If A then B, if C then D, if E then F–these are not helpful answers.  I will wait for the test.  I will pray.

Whenever I want to worry, I pray instead.  Worry is futile, prayer is powerful: this I believe wholeheartedly.

Tonight I asked Jesus to come before the needle of the biopsy and to smite any cancer cells.

Remember, He did that once before with my spine.

Remember, He did that a second time with my liver.

By His grace, I AM a miracle, and what He has done cannot be undone.  I trust that God is good at all times.  I trust God with this body, this life, my family.  We are all His, and His alone.

I have the lung biopsy tomorrow (Friday) at 11:00am.  Would you consider praying at that time: that the cells are gone, they are transformed, they are vaporized, they are good.

Results take 3 business days, so we won’t know anything until the middle of next week.  What we do know is that God’s got this.  My vision is to pray and to be peaceful.  Brad and I have a vision of doing some fun family activities and making some memories with our beautiful girls this weekend.

I ask that you do not worry.  Please pray instead.  Or, if you’re not they praying type, do something that makes you happy.  Be a relentless joy-seeker.  Make a memory.  Do something spontaneous.  Perform a random act of kindness.

Whatever you do, do not worry.  Matthew says, “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” –Matthew 6:27

Join me and simply Do Today Well.

That is doable.  Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts.

28 comments

  1. Patty Wheeler /

    I just read and I am praying. You are such an amazing woman…like your amazing Diva Mom.

    • DENISE /

      I am praying for you. I am sending you smiles, giggles, laughter, serenity, I choosing cricket bats for you to help vapourize misbehaving cells. I am throwing you into the surf to wash away anxiety, I am making you a cup of tea for a chat. But Most of all, each of us are sending you our love. Neecie.

  2. Banita Bailey /

    Sending prayers

  3. Tiffany /

    This my friend is why you are a miracle! You entrust it all to God and he uses your life as a witness! Praying that God comes before the needle, that whatever is there, it is gone! Love you!

  4. Kim Rourke /

    I have a PD day at school and we will be getting back together as a staff right at 11 so we will join our voices in prayers for you. Hugs!

  5. Mary O'Leary /

    My prayers are with you and your family.

  6. Newbe friend /

    Praying for you! I have to have my tumor markers redone,a little higher than last time, so have been working hard at praying not worrying. The good thing about it is how close I feel to God during these times. Next week we will both celebrate!! Enjoy the weekend.

  7. KellyE /

    Praying!

  8. You are amazing. I will pray for you.

  9. Belinda /

    Praying and trusting with you for clear results! He is able (Eph 3:20)….

  10. I will pray for you this morning and as you wait.

  11. Praying hard – sending good energy to be will be with you all day – your trust in God is inspiring and contagious. Even in the middle of so much potential heaviness you find the point of grace and peace in it all. My friend, you have such a gift – thank you for sharing it with all of us through this blog. Thank you for being a Light for all of us who get to feel your love in our lives.

    I will pray to obliterate those nasty cells.

  12. Stacey /

    Sending prayers from Lancaster, PA.

  13. Praying for you extra hard today. Lots of love to you and the girls.

  14. You don’t know me, but I’ve been following your blog from the beginning and am so impressed with your positive attitude. I’ll be thinking of you!

  15. Marlayne Skeens /

    Sweet Jen ~ Do Today Well is so you ~ GOD is watching over you, your families & the people praying for you ~. My mantra is If You Have To Go Through this, Are You Going To Be Happy or Crappy???? You My Dear have chosen HAPPY ~ Continued Prayers & Peace :-)

  16. Praying, not worrying!

  17. Thank you for fixing the blog. Your strength is amazing- you are so loved! You have been in my prayers all morning.

  18. Joining the others: prayers being sent!

  19. ohiofishergirl /

    Thinking of you right now, sending prayers, and lots of positive energy your way! Hugs, Dale and Lauri

  20. Ginger /

    Prayers are with you!! Stay strong! You are amazing!

  21. I’ve been following your journey each step of the way. Praying for you today and in the days to come. God’s got this!

  22. aunt annie /

    I’m doing the “Happy Dance” and sending up the prayers! You are so LOVED!

  23. Lisa Smith /

    Because of what Jesus did on the cross for me, taking my place, and because of the profound inspiration you are, I am digging deep to DO TODAY WELL on your behalf. I am stepping out of my comfort zone to give grace where I have held on to offenses and I am appreciating every breath of wellness within me. I am thinking of you and praying for you these next several days while I wait amongst your loved ones, your followers, your friends, your family in Christ. May the news be GOOD because our small minds do not understand what it is to truly accept God’s will when it is bad news knocking on our door. Jesus please, spare my friend, Jen. May she have a long happy life with her family here with us. Give us the courage to trust you Lord. Amen. I love you Jen. I am a better person because of your transparency and your words. God bless you.

  24. Rebecca /

    Praying something fierce. Hugs and love to you and your beautiful family. Sister on!

  25. Kim Rourke /

    Thinking of you and hoping all went well! Go make crisp fall memories!

  26. Elizabeth /

    Praying!

  27. I know of the wait which you are currently experiencing, and I am so sorry. I am praying that you get a result that is good – either nothing, or something that can be managed. Thank you for being a beacon of hope to those of us on our own cancer journeys.