Free

Mar 22

Today I rallied back from the flu to resume normal operations.  I had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Awesome today.  It was remarkable to look at the same (but different) advertisements for wigs and mastectomy products in her waiting room.  Unlike last year, it was not hard to put on the gown; I’ve donned lots of those in the past year.  The receptionist, one of the people I credit with saving my life, said, “I saw your name on the list and I was excited to see you!”

I grinned at her, as I had been wondering whether she would remember me given that hundreds of breast-troubled women move through that office every week.  I said, “I’m terrific, and you are still one of my favorite people on the planet.  You showed me compassion when I needed it most.”

She said, “Well, you look great.  How are you?”

(I was surprised she just hadn’t looked at my chart to find out.  Perhaps there is something to the whole HIPPA rigamarole.) “I started chemo eleven days after I first spoke with you last year; the same day I heard the C word for the first time.  And today is my 200th day of No Evidence of Disease.  I.  Am.  Fabulous.”

What if that sweet receptionist had not squeezed me in that fateful day last year?

What if Dr. Awesome had not done the biopsy right.there.in.the.exam.room. instead of scheduling an operating room at the hospital on a later date (as is the normal procedure for biopsies)?

What if the cancer had grown for another day or 5 days or 15 or 25?

What would my status be now?

I don’t really think about these what ifs… I mostly sink down in gratitude that I. am. cancer. free.

Those words never get old.

Freeeeeeeee!

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.  –Psalm 142:6-7
*PS. I am real-life-swamped.  I owe lots of people lots of communication and it is coming (hopefully soon).  Know that I am thinking of you and continue to be overwhelmed with the LOVE that continues to be poured out.  Love wins!!!

9 comments

  1. That is the silver lining in this whole cancer journey, LOVE. It comes from family, friends, medical personnel, and strangers. It make the journey through cancer exciting, encouraging and worth it all!
    Next week I go for my NED check up, if I take my eyes of God, it can become scary. If I keep my eyes on Him, remembering all his promises and all that He has done for me thus far, I can relax and just look forward to seeing all my Dr heroes. I will be at the office at noon on April 1, maybe we will see each other again!

  2. Sharon Hajek /

    In the midst of all your darkness and yes, suffering, you have loved deeply and been loved deeply. You have discovered without hesitation that Someone is always holding on to you. With all their many earthly names, they are heaven- sent.
    Happy sunny day,

  3. Love wins! Thank you for continuing to share your journey and thoughts on ‘every day life’. Your reflections have brought hope and solace to me and my loved ones this year.

    Thank you, and Warrior On.

    Lisa

  4. Marlayne Skeens /

    Jen ~ I am so HAPPY for You & Your Families :-) You are such a Blessing to many :-) LIFE IS PRECIOUS :-)

  5. Free is awesome! Sending a hug…

  6. Julie /

    This makes me so happy! Love from Alabama!!

  7. Rebecca /

    You are such a blessing to everyone. You have show that WE CAN DO HARD THINGS and still smile. Sister on! xoxo