A high fly ball

Jan 18

If you’ve ever been into a baseball game, I hope you know this feeling.  You know, the pounding in your chest when the our team’s bat hits the ball and it’s a high fly ball heading for the fence.  The entire stadium leaps to their feet with a collective gasp.  Men clench their fists, women clasp their heart, and the jaws of the children hang open.  We all hold our breath.  We’re waiting to see if the ball is going over the fence.  The elation is bubbling up but we hold back the yell and the high-five until it’s official.  We’re waiting, we’re waiting, we’re waiting, and, oh yeah, it’s going to be a ten year wait.

That’s sort of how the wait in-between scans feels.  My PET scan is coming up.  I’m feeling that euphoric anticipation of how awesome it’s going to be when it’s “official” and I’m still cancer-free.

In the meantime I’m in this anticipation phase: I’m thankful to be in the sunshine, at the game, soaking every minute, and oh, so happy.  Truly, I am so happy.  And grateful.  But sometimes, when I look and see that ball in the air, there is still that feeling that I’m holding my breath.  I’m working on not doing that.  I’m keeping my eyes fixed on what matters.  God is good, and He already knows what’s going to happen.  That’s enough for me.

Dr. Wonderful once told me that he went for the home run with me.  It’s probably the comment that has been bouncing around in my brain that inspired this post.  It feels good to know that the coach signaled, “Go for it.”  It feels good that I have a whole stadium of people who are one their feet on my behalf.  Thank you for clenching your fists, covering your heart, and feeling this life out loud with me.

I love imagining the sound of my people in the stadium when that ball clears the fence.  God can do it.  This I believe.  I trust Him, and Him alone.

11 comments

  1. I love this visual, Jen!! I can see it right now!! It’s the play of the game. So glad God already knows…and we can just rely on Him!!

  2. I feel like I’m holding my breath.
    Remember, do today well.♥

  3. This is such a fabulous analogy of anyone with a family member or beloved friend who has follow-up PET scans. That’s exactly how I feel right before my husband’s yearly scans. I never imagined I could hold my breath for 3 or 4 days! Of course I can’t, but I feel as though I do. God does have the plan and we know that He will do what’s in our best interest. Knowing that, I can only enjoy each day with this precious man…hoping beyond all hope that the “ball clears the fence”. Thank you for the visual and so very appropriate since he once was a baseball player :)

  4. Your cancer was of a more-dificult-to treat form than my Lymphoma, but your posting reminds me of the first time I saw the oncologist in March 2012: I said it’s probably too soon to talk about longevity, and he said: “Longevity? We’re going for a CURE!” And we made it, as of two weeks ago. Bless you, Jen, keep strong, and keep inspiring the rest of us.

  5. Bonnie J /

    We’re in the stands with you Jen… waiting, trusting, and hoping! ! The Lord is good and always faithful in His promises. .

  6. Perhaps I’m a little more impulsive, but I’m cheering now for that home run! 😉

  7. Jean F /

    What a wonderful word picture! I join you in giving thanks for a coach who believed it was possible, for a player who gave it her all, for the opportunity to sit in the stands and watch in awe, and for a God who supported in the ball as it soared in the air. A few tears here as I reflect.

  8. What a great analogy! It truly helps us understand how you feel. With your diagnosis you walked to first base after getting slammed by the ball! With chemo you stole a base, with radiation another base and now you’re on third and God is going to hit a home run and bring you safely HOME! We are all cheering for you! With God’s help, I truly believe your career will be long! Occassionally you might feel like you’ve struck out, but keep your eye on the ball and continue to swing! Batter up! Love, Aunt Annie

  9. Marlayne Skeens /

    This game has many Home Runs !!!!!! You Go Girl ~ You & Your Mom are on the Same Winning Team :-)

  10. Jenn t /

    Holding you up!