Being and seeing
Sometimes people for sorry for me.
But you know what?
I don’t feel sorry for me. (So please, please, please don’t feel sorry for me.)
I kind of feel blessed and lucky and happy and joyful most of the time. (I’m not perfect: I want things, I worry, I make excuses.) But, truly: I am happy.
I ache–physically ache–for people who don’t feel blessed and happy and joyful most of the time.
I know that my peace and contentment is due largely to my faith. I decided one day: Yes, I believe in Jesus. He is what I need. And with the perspective of eternity and faith, everything seems more doable. Breathing is easier. Some people are able to conjure peace and contentment without God, however, that’s not how it went for me. And I do believe that it is my faith in God that has provided me with a shield of protection. At no time have I felt “I can’t do this” or “Why me?”. Those thoughts would be normal for someone in my circumstances, or for anyone else facing difficult circumstances. Instead I choose to fill my head and heart with the truth rather than the shortfalls of humanity. I think that my life has been preparing me for this: I can do this. Even, I am joyful in spite of the hard things around me.
At the end of the day, good days and bad, I’m Jen. I choose to believe that I’m living out what God has for me. And, on a good day, I lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I did today well. I honored God, and in so doing, I glorified every. single. person. I encountered that day. And that is why I am happy. It’s not about me. It’s about being and seeing the Jesus around me for other people. I found happiness outside of myself.
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. — Luke 12:48