Being and seeing

Nov 13

Sometimes people for sorry for me.

But you know what?

I don’t feel sorry for me.  (So please, please, please don’t feel sorry for me.)

I kind of feel blessed and lucky and happy and joyful most of the time.  (I’m not perfect: I want things, I worry, I make excuses.)  But, truly: I am happy.

I ache–physically ache–for people who don’t feel blessed and happy and joyful most of the time.

I know that my peace and contentment is due largely to my faith.  I decided one day: Yes, I believe in Jesus.  He is what I need.  And with the perspective of eternity and faith, everything seems more doable.  Breathing is easier.  Some people are able to conjure peace and contentment without God, however, that’s not how it went for me.  And I do believe that it is my faith in God that has provided me with a shield of protection.  At no time have I felt “I can’t do this” or “Why me?”.  Those thoughts would be normal for someone in my circumstances, or for anyone else facing difficult circumstances.  Instead I choose to fill my head and heart with the truth rather than the shortfalls of humanity.  I think that my life has been preparing me for this: I can do this.  Even, I am joyful in spite of the hard things around me.

At the end of the day, good days and bad, I’m Jen.  I choose to believe that I’m living out what God has for me.  And, on a good day, I lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I did today well.  I honored God, and in so doing, I glorified every. single. person. I encountered that day.  And that is why I am happy.  It’s not about me.  It’s about being and seeing the Jesus around me for other people.  I found happiness outside of myself.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.  — Luke 12:48

10 comments

  1. Marsha Vonderwish /

    You make me smile and praise God for your faith!
    Your journey reminds me so much of my own. Being bald opens so many doors to share the gospel! :-)

  2. AMEN!!!!

  3. Jen ~ I’m not sure people feel sorry so much as they wish you didn’y have to go through this ~ GOD has a plan for you & I believe in my heart you are fulfilling than plan. I am sure you have touched so many hearts through your writings ~ Your Faith is strong & you are Wonderful in spite of Cancer ~ I feel sorry for the ones with No Hope & No Faith ~ for them we must pray ~ You keep on keeping on ~ GOD WILL PROVIDE ~ You are already stronger than you ever thought ~ Continued Prayers & Peace :-)

  4. Kim Rourke /

    Well said! You ARE amazing grace!

  5. A Good Morning to you Jen!! How wonderful it is to say that! It’s such a treat to see you go through your NEW days with NED alongside!! I also can imagine that sense of inbetweenness – who is that new friend, who needs that unexpected breath of encouragement, that extra hug?? I trust that the Lord has all of our days already ordered…..we just need to be available. Our Father encourages us to be Still and Know that HE is God…. I sense in my heart that you are on His perfect path and will know in due time to whom your experience and encouragement will overflow into!! It already has 😉 this is the day to rejoice and be glad

  6. Ann Brown /

    Wow. That last paragraph really spoke to me. That is what we should all be saying at the end of every day. Thanks for such inspiration!

  7. Kathy Swim /

    You really have your head on straight for a young woman. I know so many that don’t! There is a plan out there for all of us and you are living yours and becoming so wise, so young. That helps us heal and survive and help others. You’re in my nightly prayers and I really admire you and your amazing strength and faith. I will keep you in my prayers and thanks to God for giving you to all of us. There are even better days ahead! (I am an old friend of your mom’s and am going through metastatic b.c.)

  8. Love what you said. Since you came up with that your tagline, I am trying to reflect upon my days with same question, “Did I do today well?”. What a simple and clear message that gets the root of life’s greatest goal.

  9. Pat Powell /

    Jenifer dear – I admire you so much and your prayerfulness amaze I have not that knowledge A prayerfulness of offering each day to God and it is simple but that is my way

  10. Shelley Carter /

    beautifully said.