Number Sixteen

Aug 08

When I wake up tomorrow morning (Wednesday), it will be my last chemo day.  Sixteen of sixteen.

It’s bittersweet.  I’m sad to be leaving the cancer-killing treatment, the comfortable ease I have with my chemo routine, and the friends I have made in what has become “my” chemo room.  I’m happy to say good-bye to the toxins and their side effects: the crushing fatigue, the dry skin, the acne, and did-I-mention-the-fatigue?

Tomorrow I have a huge bag full of Thirty-One goodies that I get to give to the staff who have taken care of me for the past four months.  The friend who gifted them to me wrote a note that says, “Thanks for taking care of our Jen” on the packaging of each one.  At chemo I’ve given away cake pops, $5 gift card bouquets, t-shirts, chocolate chip cookies, Thirty-One key fobs, and more.  Nearly all of it was gifted to me, and I pay it forward.  Double-gifts!  Gifts are one of my love languages, and it is so fun to give away love to patients and staff at chemo.

Please pray for me tomorrow, that the tumor would disappear with this last dose of drugs.  Also, pray for Dr. Wonderful as we enter a time of testing and making plans and decisions about the specifics of what is to come next.

Tomorrow morning I’m going to drop the girls off at Phenom’s house and I’m going to go for a run.  I love that I am going for a run on my last day of chemo.  I’m doing chemo, and I’m doing it well.  I’ve stuck-with-it for the past four months, running on average two or three times per week.  I took three weeks off for a toe infection, but picked up my shoes and started again when it cleared up.  Brad, Phenom, and SuperNeighbor have all watched my kids so that I can run: I am so grateful to them.  It is good for my body, but oh-so-much-more it is good for my soul.

During my run this morning the sole of one of my shoes came partially off; my stride made an odd off-tempo thwack-ing sound during the second half of my run.  I find it ironic that my shoe broke down, but the chemo-riddled body that has been plagued by overuse injuries for the past five years has managed to stay (relatively) strong.  Thank you Jesus.

My shoes are super-glued and ready-to-go for tomorrow.

My heart and mind are ready for my last chemo treatment.

My God is my healer.

 

25 comments

  1. I love that while your shoe broke down (and praying that the cancer did, too!) YOU and your faith have NOT been broken. ♥

  2. Sweet dreams of out running this cancer – loved the fact your shoe is broken- but not your spirit. All my love Gentle Hugs Mum

  3. Latoya /

    Praying for cancer-be-gone-completely. . .obliteration!!!
    Jen, you are such a beautiful (inside and out), strong, inspiring, God-loving, Christ-like, Holy-Spirit-filled lady! Thank you for allowing us to take part on this journey with you through your blog. You have made a ginormous, positive impact on so many people’s lives. You have taken something awful and used it to glorify God, and to show all of us how HE can bless you in the midst of a storm/tsunami. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. . .” (Romans 8:28) Jen, you are AMAZING!!! It is a privelege, blessing, and honor to know you! Much love and prayers for you and your entire family!

  4. Michelle Wolfe Clapsaddle /

    Your shoe may be superglued…your spirit is NOT! It is tightly woven together with love, kindness, sincerity, positivity, and appreciation of life and it’s wonderful gifts and blessings. You are filled with superpowers…and you continue to spread “good” where there is evil. Wrap yourself in your ca

  5. Michelle Wolfe Clapsaddle /

    Your shoe may be superglued…your spirit is NOT! It is tightly woven together with love, kindness, sincerity, positivity, and appreciation of life and it’s wonderful gifts and blessings. You are filled with superpowers…and you continue to spread “good” where there is evil. Wrap yourself in your “cape” today and continue to inspire us ALL! (cue theme music of your choice here)

  6. suenitz /

    Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

    Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful. 
    Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

    Colossians 3: 12-17

    You have clothed yourself well, Jen. I will be lifting you up in prayer all day. Love to you!

  7. You’re “going for the Gold!” I will be cheering you on today knowing that God is on our team too. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

  8. You have been going to Chemo Camp (kind of like summer camp is for kids). And like the older kids who graduate at the end of the summer, you are graduating to the next phase of your life…and leaving cancer, chemo and Chemo Camp behind, except for the memories of all of the friends you have made. It’s nice you are celebrating your last day with love gifts for these friends!!

    Praying to keep your spirit uplifted [You’re an inspiration!] as you move forward leaving cancer fully behind.

    Love and hugs, Cyndi

  9. Angela /

    While we pray for you, you are inspiring and touching our souls with your strength, humor, and joi de vivre. Obliteration! Do today well, Jen! Hugs from Michigan!

  10. Tina Mathie /

    Praying for you and the cancer to go away and for the doctors and staff who kill cancer and care for you and for Brad and everyone around you!
    Much love and peace and strength to you as you enter the next round of this fight!! I believe you are now 2-0!

    XoXoX

  11. Bonniebj /

    Praying for you today Jen, on this last day!!! May the Lord and His peace rest on you and through you. The cloud of witnesses is cheering you on today in this cancer fight..fight on. Love you

  12. KellyE /

    Continued prayers for you and your family. Prayers for chemo, prayers for obliteration. I love Maren’s picture from yesterday. What blessings these girls are!

  13. You have such a kind spirit, what a lovely gesture to give gifts to your chemo staff. I’m sure the gifts will bless them so much!
    Love your body has kept on going even after your shoe is worn! Prayers for a fantastic awe inducing report on your progress!

  14. Carol Krisko /

    Jen, my thoughts, prayers and healing energy are with you as you make your passage off chemo. May your strength and fabulous spirit continue as you enter your next phase to wellness. Thank you for sharing this amazing journey with me. It’s become treasured reading and powerful insight. Love to you, your dear Mom and your entire family. You’re a jewel! Carol Krisko

  15. Wow, 16 of 16. You’ve fought cancer with such strength and faith, what an inspiration to us all!! One last prayer for chemo, then on to the next step!!

  16. Ashley /

    Praying for you this morning and always.

    ~Ashley in Louisiana

  17. I don’t know how you knew, but I needed some running motivation and wow, did you ever give that to me. I have been training for my first 1/2 marathon (I’ve been a very happy 5k runner for the past 15 years and told all of my running friends that I’d never train for a 1/2 … never say never, right?!). Well this week, after 10+ weeks of training, God has tested my dedication again. My husband (an army officer) is away and both of my kids have strep. I am feeling run down and missed 2 of my runs this week. No more excuses. You have, once again, inspired me. Thank you, and may God bless you and obliterate your cancer. Sending lots of love from Ottawa, Canada.

  18. Jen ~ You KICK-BUTT !!!!! With your attitude & chemo, you’ll soon be ready to cut out that NASTY CANCER !!!!!!! Continued PEACE & PRAYERS :-)

  19. laura /

    oh goodness gracious, I am crying at work. Good luck to you tomorrow. Melt, cancer!

  20. Leah Chapman /

    Jen – continued prayers to you and your family. As always, your posts are inspiring and remind me not to sweat the small stuff. The picture Maren drew of you brought tears to my eyes … you are beautiful! Hugs to you :) bye, bye cancer!

  21. Lucky 16! You did it! Prayers always & keep up the positive fight!

  22. Dave Schreier /

    God is the healer. Praying!

  23. Stacey /

    Jen,

    I am one of your regular blog followers though we have never met in person. Your strength and courage through this tough season of life is absolutely inspiring to me. I have commented once before, but am more often than not a silent, prayerful follower.

    I am commenting on this particular entry because you mention your skin issues from the side effects of the chemo. My friend sells an all natural skin care line called L’Bri and it is the most fantastic effective product line I have ever used. I mention it specifically to you because I know a lot of people suffering with the effects of chemo use it, my grandmother included.

    I encourage you to go to her website (http://www.sarahprice.lbri.com/DesktopDefault.aspx) or facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/sarahprice.lbri) to learn more about it and get some free samples from Sarah (I told her I am doing this so she is expecting to hear from you!)

    Please email me if you have any questions!

    Praying for you and your family!

    Stacey

  24. Denise P. /

    My mom is at the beginning of her journey so I’m really glad to have found your blog. She just made it through her first dose with flying colors. If all goes as planned she will have 16 treatments as well (4 AC + 12 taxol). I’ve been gathering information from blogs and forums and sharing it with her in bits and pieces because she is so overwhelmed.

    God bless you as you move on to your next steps.