Cancer normal

Apr 04

I had a hard time finding normal today.

My baby sister is here (again/still).  Which is weird, yet awesome.

I took Maren to a friend’s Egg Hunt Party (how fun is that?!).  We had a blast and met fun new people and hugged old fun people and it was great.  I didn’t bring Greta because she would have a) just eaten mulch and/or b) hurtled herself off their lovely, but high, deck. And since Baby Sister is here, I didn’t have to bring her.  (Stay-at-home Moms can envy to this luxury.)  I chatted and shared and relaxed and had a Mom’s Day Out with my big girl.

Maren’s preschool is on Spring Break, so she doesn’t have school.  We have our days relatively open.  Maren’s next door neighbor friend has all but moved in.  Seriously, they had a pajama party at 8:10 this morning.  I say yes a lot now.  Also, I can’t remember a stay-at-home-spring-break when the weather was just so fabulous.  Greta walks barefoot in the grass and dances (dances!) when we turn on music.  My daughters are having this idyllic childhood right in front of me.

I have cancer, so I worry, because that is what moms do.  Mostly, I worry and pray.  Because then at least I’m doing something.

My head feels weird because oh-yeah-I-cut-10-inches-off-my-hair yesterday.  I wanted to donate my ponytail and the hairdresser had to all but shave the back so that it would be long enough.  She was quite hesitant about it, but really, it’ll all be gone soon, so let’s donate it already.  I wasted an obscene amount of shampoo in the shower this morning.  I’ll try to better estimate the shampoo-to-hair ratio tomorrow.  I styled my pixie cut with average interest, because I am secretly more interested in wearing some of the scarves (once I lose my hair) from the spectacular Scarf/Hat Party that friends had for me last night.

Today I am not feeling normal, I am feeling blessed.  Blessed that my cancer is medically curable, blessed that we have resources that allow us to afford health care, blessed for all of the people who are helping me realize that my cancer normal might be better than my regular old normal.

I believe I will be cancer-free.  As I am free.

13 comments

  1. Cyndi /

    Egg Hunt party, Pajama party in the am, dancing barefoot in the grass…Ahhhh, so nice! Enjoying lots of love with your girls. And I am impressed by your new pixie haircut and donation. I always felt a significant (reduced length) haircut was so liberating. See, you really are feeling free!!!

  2. Vista /

    You are truly inspirational! Although I wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone, you are handling it with grace, humor, and faith. I look forward to your posts every day. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

  3. Sue Nitz /

    Jen, I love how you live one moment at a time and love every moment. You are inspiring and strong and you are touching more people more than you will ever know. God is GOOD and being able to see the blessings during this time is a gift as you are to so many. Keeping you close in prayer always.

  4. love how you said you are saying yes a whole lot more. Isn’t life wonderful when filled with yes’?! :)

  5. Bonniebj /

    Hey Jen, short hair is a breeze…and will also show off those sparkley blue eyes you have. The blue eyes so full of life and promise… Love you And still reveling in your great news..This is a day for continued rejoicing.

  6. I am amazed at your resiliency and ability to find the beauty in your fight. Happy Easter!

  7. jen powers /

    Yes, as Bonnie said, the rejoicing is trickling over from yesterday too! Praying your cup continues to overflow through things like sweet morsels of time with those beauties of yours.

  8. Yes, yes, yes!!! Pajamas and parties and dancing :)
    So wonderful that you thought to donate to locks of love.♥
    My mom let my brother shave her head, which as a Marine he *thoroughly* enjoyed doing for her; a good friend of mine let her teenage daughters shave her hair off (and it grew back *so* soft and fluffy!) but neither of them had a scarf/hat party like you have had. What a great idea!
    You will be in my prayers throughout this battle. And oh, yeah… the battle is the Lord’s! He is Risen!! ♥

  9. Melissa Z /

    Your positivity is inspiring! I am a 35 year old mom of two that had a bad day. Nothing Earth shattering, the usual, whiny kids, messy house that you can never quite catch up on, late for everything all day, etc. After reading your blog tonight, you’ve given me the gift of perspective….thank you, I needed it! I now feel embarrassed that I considered today, dealing with a 5 year old and a two year old, a bad day. My (now) husband was diagnosed with malignant melanoma 12 years ago. The Dr’s told him his chances of survival after 5 years was 50/50. He was 26 years old. He was positive, upbeat, and like you, never doubted beating the monster called cancer. Now I sit here, reading your blog (with a glass of wine), realizing there is no such thing as a bad day once you (or your loved one in my case) has fought/beaten cancer. Life is a gift, and we have two beautiful children to show for it. I sense a very similar/familiar spirit/spunk in you as was in my husband, so I can say, with authority, you definitely have what it takes to beat this and you WILL! Please NEVER doubt the power of the mind and positive thinking, truly and thankfully feel that it saved my then boyfriend, now husband of 9 years life and I am extremely grateful. I am not very religious, but since you are, keep your faith no matter what, believe and I will be sending you all my positive thoughts and energy! Thank you for giving me perspective (aka a slap upsides the head) and I wish you and your beautiful family nothing but the best!
    Melissa Z

  10. Beautiful Jen. I’m so proud to know you. Love you.

  11. maggieeileen /

    So glad for the love & joy you are experiencing. Very precious for you to give your “locks of love”. I am praying for your family & your healing.

  12. Love your positive attitude in the face of well, what you are facing. I am totally, random stranger but appreciate reading your posts so much. And love that you have such great family and friends surrounding you to make this all just a bit easier.

  13. I’ve done that where I’ve cut my hair and still put a HUGE glop of shampoo in my hand. I think that was great that you donated your hair, even during this crazy time you are still selfless. :)